Zodiac Killer Suspends Presidential Campaign
(INDIANAPOLIS, IN) -- Ted Cruz, former cereal killer and current politician, announced the suspension of his presidential campaign today. This statement comes after the Indiana Presidential Primary in which the murderer, better known as the Zodiac Killer, lost to his opponent, Donald Trump.
In his final address on the campaign trail, he told his loyal supporter's, "We left it all on the field but the people have spoken. America just is not ready for a man with over 35 murders to his name to hold the highest office in the country". It was a melancholy end to a groundbreaking run. Cruz became the first Cuban-American, human hunter to win a presidential primary. His lust for blood seemed to resonate with his millions of supporters across the U.S. "I just like how creepy and unsettling he is," says Kevin Posey, a Cruz supporter and resident of Indiana. "He's the sort of a person that will ask for something so many times that you eventually appease them just so they leave. That's what we need in the White House. I'm really sad to see him go".
Even though the Zodiac Killer may have lost the race, it is quite an accomplishment that he made it this far. Considering the gallons of blood on his hands, to completely change the purpose of his life, from murdering individual people to attempting to murder the United States as a whole by running for President, is no minor feat.
In his final address on the campaign trail, he told his loyal supporter's, "We left it all on the field but the people have spoken. America just is not ready for a man with over 35 murders to his name to hold the highest office in the country". It was a melancholy end to a groundbreaking run. Cruz became the first Cuban-American, human hunter to win a presidential primary. His lust for blood seemed to resonate with his millions of supporters across the U.S. "I just like how creepy and unsettling he is," says Kevin Posey, a Cruz supporter and resident of Indiana. "He's the sort of a person that will ask for something so many times that you eventually appease them just so they leave. That's what we need in the White House. I'm really sad to see him go".
Even though the Zodiac Killer may have lost the race, it is quite an accomplishment that he made it this far. Considering the gallons of blood on his hands, to completely change the purpose of his life, from murdering individual people to attempting to murder the United States as a whole by running for President, is no minor feat.